


Finding Him

by ShadowRese



Series: 52 Persona Stories in 52 Weeks [6]
Category: Persona 3, Persona Series
Genre: 52 Short Stories in 52 Weeks, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, Post-Canon Fix-It, Reincarnation, Second Chances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 08:51:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10510401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowRese/pseuds/ShadowRese
Summary: Akihiko knows he can search in every face he meets from now until the end of time, and he will never find what he's looking for. Until one day, the one he's been searching for finds him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> After a long break, I feel like I'm ready to get back to writing. 
> 
> Week 6 - Finding Something Lost

He is thirty-six years old but can still easily pass for twenty-five. His silvery hair is always artfully styled, and his taste in clothing is impeccable, a far cry from the wild man in the cape he used to be. Only his eyes are ancient, sad and haunted beyond his years.

Akihiko Sanada lives alone; he's never been married, except to his work. There has never been a shortage of willing prospects, both of the male and female varieties, but Akihiko has never responded to any of their advances. His heart isn't his to give. It belongs to a boy with steely grey eyes, dark, unkempt hair, and a smile that didn't grace such a handsome face often enough. The boy's name is Shinjiro Aragaki. He died eighteen years ago, and to this day, Akihiko still loves him. So much so that he finds the act of moving on unthinkable, because he can search in every face he meets from now until the end of time, and he will never find what he's looking for.

This day begins just like every other, a pre-dawn workout, a protein shake and a shower, and then a quick train ride to work. His world gets turned on its head though when a young man is dragged into the station, and dumped unceremoniously in Akihiko's office mid-afternoon. The kid happens to be the son of some up and coming local politician, and the man wants the boy scared straight. Dealing with problems like this one is now commonplace since his promotion, and sometimes he can't help but think it was less work pounding the pavement than it is behind a desk.

Akihiko's nose is buried in a file when the kid is hustled in and shoved down into the hard, wooden chair. Purposefully, the detective remains silent, giving no outward appearance of even knowing the boy is there. The silent treatment won't last long, though, just long enough for the kid to start talking and for Akihiko to interrupt him. It takes just over five minutes, a new record. Akihiko smirks behind the folder; the boy's tough, no doubt.

"Look man," the kid begins, only to be cut off.

"Arakawa, I'll do the talking-" The blood drains from Akihiko's face when he finally looks up at the boy across from him, making his own skin appear even more pale than usual. He drops the file. It hits the edge of the desk, where it slides off, pages falling out and scattering across the floor in a haphazard fan.

As he sits there choking on a wave of grief, the boy gapes, thunderstruck, eyes wide and glossy. Aki feels his own tears threatening to spill, reminding him just how not okay he is.

"Shinji?"

"No, my name is Arakawa Shukito... who's Shinji?"

 

The boy looks exactly like Aki remembers him. Same grey eyes, same hair, only styled differently, and minus the beanie of course. Akihiko's fingers ache from where he has them  clenched into a tight fist to keep himself from reaching out the feel the dark strands.

 

"Do you remember me?" The silver haired man dares to hope, because no matter who this boy claims to be, Akihiko knows it's Shinjiro. His soul would know him anywhere, in any lifetime. And his persona knows it too. The chief inspector can feel Caesar stirring in his mind, the persona borne from having endured losing the love of his life.

"Only from a dream, Sanada-San."

Hearing that voice again after all this time breaks Aki's resolve. The cadence, the rise and fal is exactly the same as it was eighteen years ago. 

"In my dream, I'm cold, so cold, and there's pain in my body that makes me feel like I'm being torn apart. There are faces all around me, but I can only focus on one. I don't know who the boy is, but he looks so broken, and his pain is more than I can bear, and even though I don't know what why, I know I'm the reason for his pain." A moment's silence passes, and then, "He looks like you."

A lump has formed in Akihiko's throat, and he swallows thickly. "How long have you been having that dream?"

The boy huffs, and his eyes drop to the floor. "All my life."

Akihiko never knew it was possible for a heart to break and be restored simultaneously, but his has managed it somehow. By some miracle, or twist of fate, Shinji is back. Second chances don't happen for people like them; all he has to do is look around at his friends to kno  happy endings in their world are hard to come by. Junpei and Chidori, Aegis and Minato. Tragic ends for people who deserved better. He'd thought he was one of those people too, until now. 

Because now Shinji is here, sitting across the desk from him, within arm's reach. If this is a gift the universe is giving him, then Akihiko is going to grab onto it with both hands and never let go. Right now he may be no more than a stranger to the beautiful boy in front of him, but he's going to change that.

"You do know _me_ though, don't you?" Arakawa's voice is low, and he sounds so sure, but also very young. There is literally a lifetime between the two of them, yet somehow that doesn't matter.

"Are you sure you wanna know?"

Eyes flashing,

Arakawa nods eagerly. "Yes, I have to." In the span of one heartbeat to the next, Castor appears behind the boy, flickering in and out of view before fading away again.

Allowing himself a small, melancholy smile, the chief inspector rises from his seat and slings his jacket over his shoulder casually. "Let's get out of here, then." He doesn't look back when he was walks out the door. From now on, Akihiko has the feeling he won't have to look backwards ever again. Not when he has so much to look forward to.

 


End file.
